Nowadays a long-term relationship is a rare thing. Everything starts and ends in a matter of days. Every one of us or at least most of us have had failed relationships in the past that lasted no more than 5-6 months if not shorter. But it seems the presence of that occurrence is even stronger. Or at least that’s my observation. Relationships are not a simple thing, nor creating a stronger relationship. Well, that’s not new to someone who had in the past.
Before I had my first girlfriend everything looked so easy, and never have I’ve been more wrong. Not claiming to be an expert on the topic but now I am with a girl that for the first time I have the feeling we are on the same page. Probably that’s one of the many reasons why things are going so well. But why it seems so simple now? I love her, and she loves me. We are together for almost three years and a half, and I have the feeling that I know her from most of my life. For these three years and a half, we had fewer fights than in previous relationships that lasted two months. Now when I start thinking about it, we haven’t had a single serious fight.
Most of the tips I am about to give you are based on my personal experience.
Do not Rush Things
It is not okay to try getting really serious at the start. First, hang out to know each other and don’t force the other person into a serious relationship right from the beginning. Even if the person likes you, forcing someone into something that they are not quite ready yet will push you away really quickly. Enjoy your time together and see how are things going. You will know when the time comes to ask for something more like a serious relationship. Don’t rush things because even you could not be sure if you want to be with the person or it is a good idea at all.
Make Sure Both of You are on the Same Page
This is essential. You can’t know what the other person is thinking. But in time things will become more clear between two of you. If you spent enough time, 4-5 months or even more slowly, you will start to know each other or at least you will have an idea what the other person is like. You can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Plain and simple. This is probably the time you can start to speak about a serious relationship. For this time you need to have some idea of the other person’s intentions for your relationship. And you both need to be on the same page. If you want to continue with a more serious relationship than this, is great and you should start doing more things than just too see each other and hang out.
Suggested Reading: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship
Live together for a short period
Ok maybe it’s not necessary to live with each other but try to spend more time at your or your loved one’s house. Maybe go on a vacation together. The idea is to be more time together to see if you fit each other’s lifestyle. The idea is if you want to know each other the best way is to spent time together under the same roof. That way you will have a good idea of what is like to live with that person and is it possible. You will learn each other’s habits. Sometimes those habits are the reason for relationships to end. This is probably the best way to see if you have any chance of future with that person.
Compromise if you want a stronger relationship
I admit that probably one of the biggest mistakes I did in past relationships is I didn’t make many compromises. That’s one of the key reasons why many relationships and even friendships crumble. You must learn that trying to understand the other person is really important. Try to put yourself in his shoes. This will give you a different point of view. It will help you understand the reason behind some of his actions and then you will get to know this person better.
Compromises must be made if you want a long-term relationship. But they must be made not only from one of you. There must be a balance and kept that way. And that balance will be lost if compromises are made only form the one side. There comes a time that you must stand your ground if you are the one that makes all the compromises. Don’t let that happen, too much could end your relationship. From here you will understand how mature your significant other is. Talk to each other, don’t let problems slowly ruin everything you have built so far. Discuss and try to make solutions to your problems by talking and sharing with each other.
Commit or not
From this point on depending on how long you have been with your partner and how things went you should ask yourself. Questing if you already didn’t. To commit or not to commit. How well you get along? Do absolutely trust each other? Is your relationship evolving in one or more ways? Do you have future together? And most importantly, are you happy together? These are the questions you must ask yourself if you want your relationship to become something more. Do you want something more from your partner or you are fine that way?
Things must be crystal clear for both of you if you want to turn your relationship into more than just that. This is probably the most important decision you must make so far. If you already answered yourself those questions then that’s should have made things much clearer and shown you how to proceed next. The next thing to know is to find out if your loved one feels the same about you. Discuss things so far and understand your life goals together. Sometimes things are much simpler as they seem. If you get along and share your life goals than speak about your future together and be honest with each other.